Quick tip for you:
The absolute fastest and easiest way to stop the
loss of passion in your relationship and get your
man "feeling it" for you physically, mentally, and
emotionally all over again is by trying this:
http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/NALA
Ok Mary cris - does it ever seem impossible for
you to re-inspire your man's passion and devotion
again after a difficult period in your
relationship?
If you're like some of the women I've helped and
you don't exactly know how to quickly "reconnect"
and inspire the man you're with-
Then it's almost as though the harder you try at
making your relationship work, the more your guy
seems to tune out, act lazy, and stop listening.
The worst of this is made clear when your man
stops initiating affection, physical contact and
sex altogether.
This is when you know there's trouble.
If you've ever been in a place like this where you
feel like you've tried everything to get your
relationship back on track- but your man doesn't
seem to help or care...
I want you to know that there is a way to quickly
get your relationship back on track.
There's a way to have your man excited to spend
time alone with you, excited to take you out and
experience the world with you, and excited just to
touch you and be next to you.
And there's also a way to get out of the common
"trap" too many great women fall into:
The TRAP of being the "Do It All Yourself" Woman.
This is when you do everything for yourself AND
for the man in your life, and you get little or
no help and almost nothing back in return.
It's you who works hard and earns a living.
It's you who does all the chores.
It's you who makes the plans, organizes your lives
and everything in it, and even tries to hold your
relationship together without his help.
And for all that, he just seems to keep growing
more and more DISTANT and uninvolved.
Stop this now.
After being the "Do It All Yourself" Woman, it's
only natural to feel exhausted, drained,
frustrated and unhappy with your man and your
relationship.
Being in this place, and allowing yourself to
get there in the first place, makes taking on
this role in your relationship a TRAP.
It's time to stop this pattern for your own good.
And it's time to start experiencing what it's
like to have a real man in your life who's
committed, engaged, and does his part and more to
make sure you're both creating an incredible life
together.
Is it time for you to get off the roller-coaster,
and start to get things back on track for yourself
and your relationship?
If the answer for you is "Yes, it's time", then
your first step isn't trying more of the same.
Your first step is to STOP doing the things that
are accidentally pushing your man further away and
possibly making him feel like LEAVING since things
seem too difficult to ever work again.
How do you know if you've been doing any of these
things that are sure to push your man away?
Start by simply asking yourself if you've been
doing any of the following to try to "fix" things
in your relationship or marriage:
-Talking only about PROBLEMS or TASKS, instead of
really connecting on a genuine level
-Constantly judging, criticizing or accusing your
man about what is wrong or lacking in the
relationship, and never finding ways for you to
both support and praise each other
-Venting your problems with friends, family or
even another man in order to feel validated and
many times getting the WRONG advice
Have you done any of these things?
If so, then most likely you've realized that
instead of getting more affectionate, he may be
withdrawing even FURTHER and losing interest in
staying in the relationship.
Don't let this happen to you. Find out how you
can quickly and easily get your relationship back
on track by INSPIRING your man's love and
devotion.
In my "Relationship Turnaround" program, I show
you the quick and easy steps on how to:
-Identify any and all destructive patterns in your
relationship, and stop them dead on the spot
-Stop being the "Do It All Yourself" woman in your
relationship, and learn to sit back and have your
guy start thinking about and caring for you and
your relationship on his own
-Stop letting your relationship problems get you
down which cause you to feel worse and act out.
Instead get back to your "best self" and feel
better immediately
-Discover what it takes to trigger your man's
desire to be engaged in your relationship again
It's time you stopped having to do everything
yourself, and started enjoying what a real
loving and supportive relationship is like.
My very best tips and secrets for getting your
relationship back on track and off your own
shoulders in a matter of a day or two are all
right here for you:
http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/RelationshipTurnAround
Oh, Mary cris,
You know what else?
Recently I received an e-mail from a reader
who's been married for more than 20 years, but
her marriage is in trouble because her husband had
an extramarital affair while working abroad and
now he's lost passion and affection for her.
Ouch!
She doesn't want to end the marriage, though.
She wants to find a way to get back the connection
they used to share. She's tried a few things,
including therapy, but nothing has worked so far
to turn things around.
Unfortunately, when everything you're trying
isn't working, it creates a cycle of negativity
that'a almost impossible to break out of, unless
you get some AWARENESS of what you're doing-fast.
Keep reading and find out what I think she
should do next, and why her situation is not as
hopeless as it sounds.
Here's what she wrote:
>> QUESTION FROM A READER
***"Hi Christian,
I have been married for 21 years, and we were
together 5 before that. He is 54 and I am 55. The
marriage has been rocky, but there has always been
a connection. My husband is the deep emotional,
unavailable type. He travels a lot as part of his
job, keeping him away for extended periods, 1 +
months at a time.
Last year he was overseas for a whole year for his
job (China). He had a beautiful apartment, and
hired a young Chinese woman to clean and help with
his expenses, or anything else he needed. I have
always been faithful, attentive and loving towards
him, but did fail to provide him with all of the
financial accounting he asked for, and he became
resentful. (I should've hired someone!) He came
home different in the way he responded to me and
so I became suspicious.
I did some digging and found strong evidence that
he had at least an EA with this young woman. He
was keeping contact with her after coming home
again by a phone card and text messaging service
separate from our cell phone service. Through my
confrontation and catching him in all of this, I
believe he has since severed the connection with
her.
The problem is that even with the evidence I found
(emotional writing to her, asking her for a
"relationship"), gifts from her, he denies
anything happened and that he was involved. He has
lied to me many times.
We are seeing a very good counselor, and he says
he's committed to the marriage, but he even lies
in therapy about it. Just before he left, I found
out he went on Eharmony posing as a single with a
different name, looking for a relationship.
He admitted to this, and said he was ticked off at
me and thought to himself "maybe I COULD be
happy", but didn't pursue it even though he set up
an account. I still feel he isn't emotionally
connected with me again. It is just not the same..
For a period I refused to sleep with him, but
resumed that because I thought it was counter
productive for both of us. It feels more like he's
"willing" to be available sexually, but not
"desiring" it. Maybe I am too available to him? He
says he loves me, but only if I say I love him,
and doesn't seem interested in kissing me in bed.
(to me that speaks volumes) "If a man doesn't know
what he wants, he generally doesn't want what he's
got." This hit home with me, as I am not sure how
he feels, and if he will stray again.
I have been reading all of your emails and
purchased the "How to turn your relationship
around" CD set. (hasn't arrived yet) I am
wondering if the girl in China is in his memory
(he said she WAS "good for him"). He said he was
happy over there.
I have stopped doing the things I know was not
good for the relationship. (which was trying to
have emotionally based conversations in the
evening, fighting, etc.)
I know I need to focus more on myself than trying
to "fix" anything. I am taking an art class, and
going to my own therapist to help with my self
esteem, which has been crushed, working out, etc.
Any advice you can give would be helpful!
--Struggling" ***
>> MY RESPONSE
You've certainly had some major challenges in
your marriage.
Your husband has an affair while working
abroad,and now he's dabbling in talking with
other women online.
Eeek. Not good.
Now - normally I would tell you to think twice
before returning to the relationship and trying to
fix it when a man has cheated - repeatedly. A man
who betrays your trust the way he did isn't
someone you'd want to invest your time and energy
trying to hold onto.
Especially if he's continuing to find ways to
seek out other women.
But I can see that you're determined to turn
things around and make the best of a bad
situation.
You didn't say this in your letter, but I'm sure
you're wondering if your husband has fallen out
of love with you.
I'm wondering that, too.
But you didn't write that in your letter, so
I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and guess
that he probably wants to work things out too.
How do I know?
He's agreed to go to counseling with you, so
there's reason to think that he feels like there
is SOMETHING still there. There's still hope to
save the relationship from completely crashing and
burning when both people want to try.
But can you MAKE a man love you again the way
he used to?
No, you can't "make" a man love you, and trying
to do things to that end will only backfire.
It'll backfire because trying to "convince" a
man that he should love you, or trying to talk him
into having attraction and passion for you just
because you've been together for X amount of time,
is completely counter-productive.
Not only does that NOT work, it actually makes
a man feel less for you.
That's right, it's total man repellent.
Here's what you CAN do instead.
You can inspire a man to WANT to make you
happy, and inspire him to feel passionate about
you.
The difference between "inspiring" a man and
"convincing" him is an important one.
When you inspire, you are doing things to feel
better about YOURSELF, and you're committing
yourself to understanding your man and nurturing
your relationship.
When you convince, you only TALK or do things
to manipulate a man into feeling a certain way.
For example, like when you would have "emotionally
charged conversations in the evening" with him.
You wanted him to know how you were feeling, and
you wanted him to hear you.
But you quickly realized that no man is going
to feel warm and fuzzy about you because you're
telling him how unhappy he makes you.
Here's the deal.
The #1 truth about men in relationships is that
they want to make their woman happy. He wants to
FEEL that it's easy to please you, and that you
can feel good about yourself without much "work"
on his part.
That's right. He wants to be with a woman who
is a genuinely happy person, with or without him.
Perhaps when your husband told you that the
woman in China made him happy, what he was really
saying was that he felt it was easy to make HER
happy.
So the question now is, what can you do to get
back to the content, joyful woman you used to be?
What else can you do besides what you've already
started doing? (Which, by the way, you're doing
some great stuff with therapy, exercise and taking
art classes.)
How can you be happy again, with or without
him?
The best thing you can do right now is to work
on being the best person you can be, inside and
out,so that YOU feel good again, regardless of what
happens in the end with your relationship.
That's why I'm going to do my best to give you
the answers you're looking for.
From what I read of your letter, I can tell
that you're already on the right track.
You may not agree. That's why you wrote.
It may feel like things are spiraling downward
and change isn't happening fast enough.
But believe me, you're already headed in a good
direction.
Here's what I see in your letter that tells me
that you've started turning things around.
1. You say that you've stopped doing the things
you know weren't working - including having
emotionally-charged conversations and fighting
instead of COMMUNICATING and building
UNDERSTANDING. This is a crucial step.
2. You realize that you need to take the focus off
your RELATIONSHIP and what to do to make your man
"happy" and instead started to focus more on
YOURSELF and working to create your best self.
Right on.
3. You ordered a copy of my "Relationship
Turnaround" CD, which is going to be a major plus
in helping you get your marriage back on track.
You made the right decision there for sure.
When you receive my "Relationship Turnaround"
program and start listening to the CD, you'll
learn ways to dive deep into recognizing those
patterns of behavior that just AREN'T working -
not just what you've already recognized, but
things you aren't even aware that you're doing or
thinking which are driving a bigger and bigger
wedge between you and your husband.
For example, you probably have developed a
"story"around your relationship.
These are things you tell yourself about you
and your husband, over and over, without even
realizing you're doing it.
An example of this would be where you wrote
that you've always been "attentive, loving and
faithful" to him.
You have formed a story about who YOU are in
the relationship, and how that should be enough
to sustain your marriage and keep you and your
husband connected.
But you also wrote that you failed to come
through when he asked you to take care of the
accounting, and that he was "resentful."
There seems to be a disconnect here between
what you THINK your husband wants from the
relationship and what he actually NEEDS.
I can imagine that there's a lot more here
that needs to be unpacked, and I can help you
do that.
But first and foremost, the only way for you
to find out the truth of what you and your man
need from the relationship is to first LET GO of
your story.
In my "Relationship Turnaround" program I
take you step-by-step through an exercise where
you uncover the hidden truth behind everything
you do, think or feel in a relationship.
When I did this seminar live in Los Angeles,
the women in the audience had one of their
biggest "aha" moments during this exercise.
They realized that EVERYTHING they were
feeling and thinking was going through this
"filter" of a story they had developed over
many years.
And this "story" was actually changing their
experience - and affecting their relationships
in a negative way.
It's like when you see someone who always
acts "tough" and defensive and sees everything
in a negative light suddenly SOFTEN and relax.
Maybe an event shakes them to the core and
suddenly, their old story isn't valid.
What happens to them?
Not only do they change as a person, but
their EXPERIENCE changes, too.
That's why recognizing and letting go of your
"story" is such an important step to transforming
your relationship.
After I help you uncover your story, I take
you through the other 5 critical tools to turn
your relationship around and tap into your own
inner strength and femininity.
By going through all 6 Tools in my
"Relationship Turnaround" program, you'll be
able to:
-- Do LESS for your relationship and actually get
MORE love and appreciation (seem impossible? it's
not!)
-- Improve communication because he will actually
LISTEN to you and CARE, not just walk away or get
irritated when you share your feelings
-- Develop a more intimate conversation with your
man that will bring you closer each time
-- Inspire him to "see" you in a whole new light -
and become more attracted to you than you ever
thought possible
I explain it all in detail right here:
http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/RelationshipTurnAround
The best part about this program is that once
you receive your copy, you can take a full month
to review it, try it, do the exercises, and feel
it changing who you are and how your relationship
is working before deciding to pay a single penny.
It's an amazing offer, and totally risk-free,
because I am confident you'll change your love
life with my "Relationship Turnaround" program.
If you find as much value from it as I know
you will, simply keep it and you'll be charged
automatically.
If you don't like it for any reason whatsoever,
simply send it back within 30 days and don't pay
me anything. No hassles or questions.
Here's where you can click to read all about
this amazing program, and watch a sample video
clip from the program, as well as see what the
amazing women who attended the live taping had to
say about it:
http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/RelationshipTurnAround
There's one more thing I want to mention here
since it was a major issue in the letter.
It's about why men cheat, and what it takes to
affair-proof your relationship.
In my observation and from talking to a lot of
men and women who have been through these
situations, I find that although men who cheat
have unique reasons and circumstances and what
I call "excuses" about why they do it, there are
some general TRENDS.
Some men cheat because they haven't fully
developed their sexual maturity.
They tend to "objectify" or compartmentalize
women and sex because they haven't fully
integrated their sexual desires in a mature way
with partnership and monogamy.
If you are with a man like this, there are some
tell-tale signs.
Men also cheat to escape a difficult or sexless
relationship, because of the need to feed their
ego, to have variety, and also because of certain
kinds of addiction.
Regardless of WHY a man will cheat, there are
things you can do in any relationship to reduce
the likelihood that he WILL.
To learn the signs of sexual immaturity in a
man,and to know the EXACT things that you can do
to virtually CHEAT-PROOF your relationship, read
about my "Inside The Mind Of A Man" program.
In this program, you'll learn all about the
different levels of maturity in a man, why
certain men will cheat no matter what, and what
kind of man will stay faithful as long as there
are 6 specific situations in your relationship.
It's all right here:
http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/IMM